Lifestyle and fashion.

Friday, 7 April 2017

A day with OCD

Hi Liam,

Source: here.
It's time to leave the bed, well almost. I know you want to leave now but it's only 8.06 and you know you can't leave until 8.10, we've been through this. Ignore your hunger, you can eat soon. In the meantime, let's plan your day: eat at 8.10, shower at 8.40, leave the house at 9.15, lunch with friend at 12, get back home at 3, blog at 3.15, cook at 5.15 and sleep at 9. Anything else? No okay, you can leave the bed now. Make sure to wash your hands first, PROPERLY. I want under those nails done; the palms; wrists; in between fingers; back of hands, the whole lot and a good 30 seconds on this. I'm being easy on you, we used to do this for much longer until you were sore so be grateful.

Now get a bowl from the cupboard for your cereal and wash it plus the spoon from the draw. Same drill, wash the sides, the top and the back until I'm happy. Yes they've been washed already but I have standards and you can't be too careful about all that bacteria. Good thing we have the antibacterial washing up liquid. Heck maybe you should wash your hands again since we're speaking about bacteria. All done? Let's have a shower then. You know what I'm going to say to do, scrub every inch of that body! I don't care how long it takes. Maybe exfoliate your skin too as it is so uneven I don't like it. Scrub it until your red and sore because then I know for sure you've scrubbed properly.

Okay it's time to leave the house so put on your shoes. No you did it wrong, start again. And again... Liam you know what I want; a straight lace, no folds or twists, come on you're driving me crazy. That's better, okay let's leave the house before it turns to 9.16 because you know how I hate the number 6. Right lock the door. Now double check you've locked it. And again. Are you sure you've locked it? Go back again. Maybe you didn't, really slam the handle down this time to make sure it's locked. And again. Okay one more time. Maybe a second time. Third time. Okay it's locked. Now we're outside make sure to jump over the road markings and drains because you know how much they scare me. Oh and that big crack there! Phew. You might die if you step on them so as much of an idiot you look like jumping over them I'm saving your life really. You're welcome.

Oh it's time to meet your friend. Where is she? Oh there she is, let's walk with her. No not there, walk on the outside of the pavement. Why? Well if you're on the inside of the pavement you might push her into the road and kill her. Don't call me dramatic, you might do it. You hear about people doing things like this all the time so I can't trust you to be on the inside of the pavement. Okay maybe pick up the pace as it's almost lunch time and I want to make it for 12. I'm getting anxious that we won't make it. Oh there's the restaurant, never mind. That was cutting it fine. Now let's find a good seat. I like that one, go get it. Yeah I like this. Wait is that a mark on the table? Let's get this cleaned asap and straighten that cutlery Liam. No straighter than that. That's better.  Wow it's busy in here, let's count everyone that's around. 1, 4, 7, 9, 12, 15, 20. Wait why did you just look at that woman? Don't tell me it was nothing. They say rapists look at women. Maybe you're a rapist. Yes you are. You sicken me. Don't tell me you're not I watch the news, I know what they look like. They look like you. Let's go home, I can't be dealing with this.

Thank God we're home, you've been stressing me today. Let's look in the mirror. You look strange. Why isn't your body proportionate like everyone else's? Your nose shouldn't have that bump. And your right shoulder looks broader than the left. And the skin on your right cheek is redder than on the left. Why is so much of you disproportionate? You're going to give me a panic attack. Okay 10 minutes is enough looking.

Bed time, finally. Now that we're in bed I feel itchy, especially the right knee. Scratch it. Maybe you should scratch your left knee too since you scratched your right knee, just for symmetrical reasons. Obviously. Did you just scratch 3 times? Make it 4, I expect even numbers, Liam. Shall we check out the social media? Let's go through every news feed until we've seen everything already. Sure that's going to take a while but we need to see everything. Every story, every status, every photo, every update.

Okay let's sleep.......................actually I'm bored of sleeping, let's think. Remember that woman you looked at for a whole second earlier? You disgust me, you should be ashamed. Let's think about this until you fall asleep because I'm worried about you. Make sure you get exactly 8 hours sleep tonight though Liam, no more, no less.


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